Yesterday, the message at church really challenged me. The subject was Rahab (not to be confused with rehab people), a woman who just happened to be a prostitute. So yeah, men paid her for sex. What a way to make a living. However, somewhere along the way Rahab turned it all around. She decides to be on God's Team and leave her old ways and a life of prostitution far behind her.
But, the crazy thing is - every other time Rehab is referred to - I mean every time, she is called, "Rahab, the prostitute." Talk about embarrassing. Like, thousands of years later even, in Hebrews, the Bible alludes to her as "the prostitute". It's literally like every time God introduces her, He has to mention what she used to be. Do I think God was trying to stick the knife in and twist it? Not at all.
The point is simple, but profound. God isn't ashamed of your past -whatever it entails.
I love this. It's like He wants us to wear our past as a badge of honor. Because it's what we USED to be. And it is what has made us WHO we are. And it's WHY we will help others in the same boat.Why do I love this? Because I've been thinking lately, "Okay, once I hit the 6 month mark, I won't be considered the divorced girl anymore. I won't be the one with the very public failed marraige. I won't be the one who let down so many kids." But, you know what? Six months came and went...and it still hurts sometimes. And I still feel like I have a big "DIVORCED" stamp pasted on my forehead. Because, for me, I never wanted to be divorced. I wanted to get married and grow old with that same person, just like my parents and my grandparents. That didn't happen. But...I'm believing that it will happen eventually :) I'm all about second chances.
So, I'm going to choose not to be ashamed of who I am. I'm divorced. I'm dealing with a lot of anger and hurt. I'm sick of people who lie to me. But, I'm me, and I'm real.
I love you, Jen. And I love how real and encouraging you are.
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